Monday, September 30, 2019
Thursday, November 08, 2018
A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Republican!"
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."
The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am, replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault."
JUST FOR FUN JUST FOR FUN JUST FOR FUN JUST FOR FUN JUST FOR FUN
Monday, October 22, 2018
The He Said…. She Said…….Section::::::::
He said . . . I don't k now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.
He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
Have a great day. I’ll be at my “Shrink”………….
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Johnny Appleseed Johnny Appleseed Johnny Appleseed Johnny Appleseed
Johnny Appleseed Birthday: September 26, 1774.. “Johnny Appleseed traveled extensively across mid-western America and planted apple seeds wherever he went. Besides trees, he planted several small nurseries too and left them in the care of his neighbors, giving them a small share of his earnings. He built fences around the nurseries to protect them from livestock and returned every year or two to look after the nurseries.” READ MORE
(I didn’t know this) “The apples that Johnny planted were not considered to be edible but were commonly known as “spitters,” suggesting what one would do after taking the first bite. His small and tart apples were used to made hard cider and applejack. In those days, cider was more popular than beer, whisky, or any other alcoholic drink, owing to the fact that it was cheaper than any other drink.”
Pigeon Roost Farm and Great Pumpkin Fun Center in Hebron, Ohio. (This is in Johnny Appleseed land)
BY ROBERT FROST
My long two-pointed ladder's sticking through a tree
Toward heaven still,
And there's a barrel that I didn't fill
Beside it, and there may be two or three
Apples I didn't pick upon some bough.
But I am done with apple-picking now.
Essence of winter sleep is on the night,
The scent of apples: I am drowsing off.
I cannot rub the strangeness from my sight
I got from looking through a pane of glass
I skimmed this morning from the drinking trough
And held against the world of hoary grass.
It melted, and I let it fall and break. READ MORE
Monday, November 20, 2017
Thursday, November 16, 2017
And you may look/feel like this::::
To find out where the above photos were taken..one more CLICK…………..
Tuesday, November 07, 2017
Clinging on to past and living is like driving forward while watching the rear view mirror...
I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
"I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novocaine because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
Q: What happened when the man crashed his car into the tree?
A: He saw how his Mercedes bends.
A fire started on some grassland near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch be called.
Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was made.
The volunteers arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They rumbled straight towards the fire, drove right into the middle of the flames and stopped! The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controlled parts.
Watching all this, the farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and was so grateful that his farm had been spared, that right there on the spot he presented the volunteers with a check for $1,000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds.
'That ought to be obvious,' he responded, wiping ashes off his coat. 'The first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on our fire truck!'
What did the cowboy say when his dog left?