Sunday, January 31, 2021
Saturday, January 30, 2021
I go to KFC to get Linda something to eat. She wanted a two piece meal all legs. So I said two piece meal all legs and the lady says “which side?” Me- *complete silence as I heavily contemplate such an odd decision* “I guess the right side. I don’t know what the difference is.” After several moments of laughter, she says, “No honey. Which side would you like to go with the legs? Mashed potatoes or wedges?”
Warning To Elderly Men! (From my friend)
Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naïve enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works: Two nice-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say, "No", but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's. You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also May 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 27th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend. So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $1.25 at the Dollar Store and bought them out in three of their stores. Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Costco, etc. So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)
Have A Great Day J.T.
Friday, January 29, 2021
When our lawn mower broke and
wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But,
somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making root beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally, she thought
of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Have A Great Day J.T.
Thursday, January 28, 2021
A Bridge To Far::: A man was riding his Harley along a California highway, when suddenly the sky cleared above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said: 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific, and the concrete and steel it would take!
It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'
The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?'
Wednesday, January 27, 2021
Tuesday, January 26, 2021
Oh What Fun...Spent the last couple days going through old papers and photos.. Did a lot of shredding LOL... Some old photos interesting to at least me...
I'm the 5th from the left... (Kindergarten)
All the way up to 1964 with forerunner to modern snowmachines.
INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church looking up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, “Good morning, Alex.” “Good morning, Pastor,” he replied, still focused on the plaque.
“Pastor, what’s this?"
The pastor replied, “Well son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex’s quavering voice, barely audible and trembling with fear, asked… .............................. ............................. “Which service, the 8:15 or the 10:30?”
Have A Great day... J.T.
Monday, January 25, 2021
A New York attorney representing a
wealthy art collector called his client. "Alan, I have some good news and,
I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first." The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right." Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?" The lawyer replied, : "The pictures are of you with your Secretary.............
That's all folks.. Have A Great Day...
Sunday, January 24, 2021
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things. When the pipes leak, When the bones creak, When the knees go bad, I simply remember my favorite things, And then I don't feel so bad. Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions, No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,These are a few of my favorite things. Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinning, Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinning, And we won't mention our short shrunken frames, When we remember our favorite things. When the joints ache, When the hips break, When the eyes grow dim, Then I remember the great life I've had…………………………………….
Mount Pleasant... Lancaster, Ohio....Nice little hike. Have a great day... J.T.