My Quality Time Blog.. #Jokes #Wisdom #Travel Cruise Alaska..

 

Hang Tight and Enjoy the POST at My Quality Time Blog

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.

After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His brother said, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there Hind Lick Maneuver but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"

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Have a great day... J.T.

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PAUL HARVEY'S LETTER TO HIS GRANDCHILDREN... Wisdom... Misc. Travel Photos and of course Wisdom & Jokes

 

Thoughts For Today....

 PAUL HARVEY'S LETTER TO HIS GRANDCHILDREN

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches.. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy / girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it... And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he/she is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

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Where were the photos taken??????

Enjoy... and have a great day..... J.T.

A couple went on vacation fishing at Lake Penage MY QUALITY TIME BLOG.. JOKES, WISDOM, TRAVEL & Just Plain Fun

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A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north.

The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read.

One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap.

The wife decided to take the boat out.

She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book.

Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside and says,

“Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading my book,” she replies as she thinks to herself, “Is he guy blind or what?”

You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informs her.

“But, Officer, I’m not fishing. Can’t you see that?”

“But you have all this equipment, Ma’am. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that I will charge you with rape,” snaps the irate woman.

“I didn’t even touch you,” grouses the Game Warden.

“Yes, that’s true … but you have all the equipment.”

Have a great day... Reporting from Canada today.. Butchart Gardens and Lake Penage

This photo was taken in 1964.. Long time ago

Little Johnny Strikes again.... Mountain Speak.... #Wisdom #Jokes #Travel AT mY qUALITY tIME bLOG Great Smoky Mountains Walker Sisters Cabin.... In The Travel Section

 

LITTLE JOHNNY LITTLE JOHNNY LITTLE JOHNNY LITTLE JOHNNY LITTLE JOHNNY

A teacher said to her class, "Right, I'm going to hold something under the desk and i want you to guess it.

This one is round and red."

Little Johnny's hand shot up, but he was ignored.

"It's a plum miss," said a girl.

"no it's an apple, but I like your thinking.

The next one is oval-shaped and green."

The teacher ignored Little Johnny again and a boy said, "It's a kiwi miss."

No, it's a guava, but I like your thinking."

Little Johnny said, " I got one miss, its stiff, about an inch long, and with a red nib."

"Johny, that's disgusting!" shouted the teacher. " no it's a match, but I like your thinking."

Said Little Johnny.

Technically, it’s called the Appalachian dialect, very much like the Gullah dialect down along the coast. I call it Mountain Speak. At one time, it was prevalent throughout the Appalachian region. 

A burlap bag was a “toe sack” and a paper bag was a “poke.”  You could plow with a horse or a mule using three simple words: “gee” (turn right), “haw” (turn left) and “whoa” (stop).  You would “grabble” the first new potatoes of the year. A chimney was a “chimbly.” A “granny-woman” was a midwife/herb doctor. Enough of anything edible for a meal was a “mess.” READ MORE

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PEEING ON MY FLOWERS

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in awhile a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. " Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing ."OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."

TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL

Early Days on the Homestead

The sisters' father, John N. Walker, married Margaret Jane King in 1866 shortly after returning from the Civil War, where he fought for the Union and was imprisoned by the Confederacy. After marrying, John Walker obtained a house and property in Little Greenbrier Cove Read More

Joe Todd on the trail in Tennessee

Hope Everyone Has A Great Day... 

More On The Walker Sisters...

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