Friday, March 18, 2022

A blonde decides to try horseback riding.... Psychiatrist vs. Bartender... The Man Wears The Pants In The Family.... Relax In Amish Country Ohio.... Open Your Package....


Blondie was an incredibly underrated band ahead of its time. They had fantastic musicians, amazing drummer , & a very gifted extremely sexy lead singer

Subject: FW: : Psychiatrist vs. Bartender
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him:
“I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink.
"Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?”
“One hundred fifty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.
“Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.
“Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck.”
“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”
“He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.”
It's always better to get a second opinion.

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Stan, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.


Today's Quotes:::: “It is easy to love people in memory; the hard thing is to love them when they are there in front of you.”
“Dreams come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them. ”
“If you have the guts to be yourself, other people'll pay your price.”
“The artist brings something into the world that didn't exist before, and he does it without destroying something else. ”
“Looking foolish does the spirit good. The need not to look foolish is one of youth's many burdens; as we get older we are exempted from more and more.”
“We do survive every moment, after all, except the last one.”
― John Updike
Thought For Today “Everyone is gifted - but some people never open their package!” ― Wolfgang Riebe

AMISH COUNTRY OHIO..... Pace yourself and ease on down
the road to relaxation.

Might as well relax with some Country Cured Beef Jerky... Have A Great Day.. J. T.

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

'FECKING HELL!' Toledo, Ohio... F-E-A-R... And If I Go.... My Quality Time Blog... #Wisdom #Jokes #Travel & MORE


Mature, Beautiful & Forever a Classic

A Solicitor parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.
As he's getting out of the car, a truck comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off.
More than a little distraught, the Solicitor grabs his mobile and calls the police.
Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the man starts screaming hysterically: 'My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!'
After the man finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust.
'I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Solicitors are,' he says. 'You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life.'
'How can you say such a thing at a time like this?' sobs the Porsche owner.
The policeman replies, 'Didn't you realise that your arm was torn off when the truck hit you.'
The Solicitor looks down in horror. 'FECKING HELL!' he screams........'Where's my Rolex????...

Today's Quotes:: "Not one ounce of my self worth depends on your acceptance of me."
"Greatness occurs when your children love you, when your critics respect you and when you have peace of mind."
"Imagine what a harmonious world it could be if every single person, both young and old shared a little of what he is good at doing."
"There’s nothing in the world worse than having an opportunity that you’re not prepared for. Good luck usually follows the collision of opportunity and preparation - it’s a result of that collision. You’ve got to be prepared. So, make your mistakes now and make them quickly. If you’ve made the mistakes, you know what to expect the next time. That’s how you become valuable."
"Let's not get too full of ourselves. Let's leave space for God to come into the room."
"The process is the most beautiful part."
- Quincy Jones



Going To Toledo, Ohio Today..... see more

Have A Great Day.... Lunch at Tony Packo's

Toledo is an Ohio city at the western tip of Lake Erie. It's home to the Toledo Museum of Art, with its vast collection of modern and Renaissance work. Reflecting the city’s legacy of glass production, the museum's Glass Pavilion showcases thousands of glass works. By the Maumee River, the Imagination Station is a children's science museum with hands-on exhibits. The Toledo Zoo has polar bears, rides and an aquarium. ― Google

Monday, March 14, 2022

Advice from An Old Hillbilly... Moonshiner's Life... My Quality Time #Wisdom #Jokes #Travel The Battle Within... I Wish You Enough....


Ol' Popcorn Sutton will be missed, a man who fought the system and had his own way of living and lived off the land. Long live the God given talent of Shining.

Advice from An Old Hillbilly:
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Forgive your enemies; its what GOD says to do.
If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the time to do it twice.
Don't corner something that is meaner than you.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
Don't be banging your shin on a stool that's not in the way.
Borrowing trouble from the future doesn't deplete the supply.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Silence is sometimes the best answer.
Don‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin' you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense.

From The 100 Acre Woods ( I wonder if any moonshine is made )

"Have A Great Day," Joe Todd..................

Saturday, March 12, 2022

I'll Be There.....#Jokes.. #Travel May Be The Answer.... More #Wisdom Than Most. My Quality time Blog


Not much you can say to add to the power of this song-- Perhaps a simple "Thank You" to James Taylor

Today's Quotes::: “Never give up, never slow down, never grow old and never ever die young.”

"Time will take your money but money won't buy time."
“Being on a boat that's moving through the water, it's so clear. Everything falls into place in terms of what's important and what's not.”
“The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.”
"Music reminds us that the universe loves us."
"Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you gotta do is call, and I'll be there, 'cause you've got a friend."
― James Taylor

Now for a few jokes

Travel May Be The Answer
Travel Makes You Healthier.

Travel Relieves Stress

  • Travel Boosts Happiness and Satisfaction. 

  • Always get a good nights rest... Joe Todd