A man and his wife were having some problems at home and....

 Must Know Knews:: Ornithologists often use Cheetos to study behavior in crows. Along with being easy to spot, they’re also one of the birds’ favorite snacks.

Today's Quotes::: “Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see.”

“The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.”

“It is difficult to find happiness within oneself, but it is impossible to find it anywhere else.”

"Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal."

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

“Compassion for animals is intimately associated with goodness of character, and it may be confidently asserted that he who is cruel to animals cannot be a good man.”

― Arthur Schopenhauer

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Time To Get Serious: Did you hear about the near tragedy at the mall near Austin? There was a power outage and Ted Cruz was stuck on the escalator for more than four hours.

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Have A Great Day J.T.

BONUS: A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him a 5:00 A.M. for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5 A.M.” He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man woke up only to discover that it was 9:00 A.M. and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go see why his wife hadn’t waken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.  The paper said, “It 5:00 A.M. Wake up.”

A Man Feared His Wife

 

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He said to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asked, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” No response.

So the husband moved closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeated, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Still no response.

Next he moved into the dining room where he was about 20 feet from his wife and asked, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again he got no response. So, he walked up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.

“Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again there is no response.

So he walked right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” “James, for the fifth time I’ve said, pasta!”

Have A Great Day... J.T.

Can You Fix Stupid?

 

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"The greatest sin is judgment without knowledge."

"I think it's your duty to overcome what you inherit in life."

"Apologizes are pointless, regrets come too late. What matters is you can move on.....you can grow."

"Prayer is when you talk to God. Meditation is when you're listening. Playing the piano allows you to do both at the same time."

-Kelsey Grammer

 A woman went to the Doctor’s office where she was seen by one of the new doctors. After about 4 minutes in the exam room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and told her to go relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, “What’s the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she had two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!” The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, “Does she still have the hiccups?”

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Have A Great Day... J.T.

We are torn

 

“We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.”

"Falling in love is the easiest thing in the world. It's standing in love that matters."

"There's nothing that makes you so aware of the improvisation of human existence as a song unfinished. Or an old address book."

"The thinking mind is best controlled by the imagination."

"The Heart is a lonely hunter with only one desire! To find some lasting comfort in the arms of another's fire...driven by a desperate hunger to the arms of a neon light, the heart is a lonely hunter when there's no sign of love in sight!”

― Carson McCuller

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5 Animals That Might Show Up In Your Toilet to Terrify You

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Mars

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Have A Great Day & Keep Your Eye On The Ball... LOL... J.T.

“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.”

 

“If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”

“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.”

“Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”

“Make up a story... For our sake and yours forget your name in the street; tell us what the world has been to you in the dark places and in the light. Don't tell us what to believe, what to fear. Show us belief's wide skirt and the stitch that unravels fear's caul.”

"There is really nothing more to say-except why. But since why is difficult to handle, one must take refuge in HOW."

“Don't ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn't fall in love, I rose in it.”

“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.”

― Toni Morrison

Have A Great Day J.T.

Time for more coffee

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott to call on Don Quixote

 News You Can't Use::

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott to call on Don Quixote to joust with windmills to solve the power outage.

"I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license."

"I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware of it. You don't need a sign to tell anybody about it."

"I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!"

"I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park."

"Remember, half the people you know are below average."

"He who laughs last, thinks slowest."

- Larry the Cable Guy

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That's All Folks J.T.