Pastor Goes To Dentist For A Set Of False Teeth

A husband and wife who worked for the circus went to an adoption agency.
The social workers there raised doubts about their suitability.*
The couple then produced photos of their 50-foot motor home, which was
clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.*

*The social workers then raised concerns about the education a child would
 receive while in the couple's care.* *"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the  usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills."* *Then the social workers expressed concern about a child being raised in a circus environment* *Our nanny will be a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet."* *The social workers were finally satisfied.* *They asked, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"*

*"It doesn't really matter ... as long as the kid fits in the cannon."*

The Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory, is a museum and factory tour attraction located in Louisville, Kentucky's "Museum Row", part of the West Main District of downtown. The museum showcases the story of Louisville Slugger baseball bats in baseball and in American history.

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for

Only when he's been drinking!'

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear - you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,

"Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once ?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear, you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his

wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, `And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket , the driver turns to his wife and barks,

`WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, `Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am? `

(I love this part)

`Only when he's been drinking!' 

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Letter Rip

Three pilots died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven. 'The Army helicopter pilot thumbed through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said .'It did make light; you may pass through the pearly
gates' Saint Peter said The Navy C-2 pilot reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells. 'Saint Peter said, 'they had a ring to them, you may pass through the pearly gates'. The Air Force fighter pilot started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties..St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize? 'He replied, 'These are Carols.'

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Betrayal

Word For Today:: Definition of betrayal : the act of betraying someone or something or the fact of being betrayed : violation of a person's trust or confidence, of a moral standard, etc. the betrayal of a friend a betrayal of trust a betrayal of one's principles… Even Jesus recognized that there was something paradoxical about his betrayal by Judas Iscariot—in three of the four canonical Gospels, with a kiss.

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Rising park, Mount Pleasant towers nearly 300 feet above the city of Lancaster. The Mount Pleasant overlook gives you outstanding views of the town and the surrounding foothills. This is easily one of the best overlooks in Ohio

None Truly Win Until We All Win

There was a farmer who grew excellent quality corn. Every year he won the award for the best grown corn. One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors. “How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?” the reporter asked.

“Why sir,” said the farmer, “Didn’t you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbors grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn.”

So is with our lives... Those who want to live meaningfully and well must help enrich the lives of others, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. And those who choose to be happy must help others find happiness, for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all...
-Call it power of collectivity...
-Call it a principle of success...
-Call it a law of life.
The fact is, none of us truly wins, until we all win!!

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Hocking Hills State Park is a state park in the Hocking Hills region of Hocking County, Ohio, United States; in some areas adjoining the Hocking State Forest. Within the park are over 25 miles of hiking trails, rock formations, waterfalls, and recess caves.

Churchill Downs,& A Joke

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on she went describing the neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, and her feeling unloved and being unlovable. She set out an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured. Finally, the therapist got up, walked around the desk, and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?" "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf."

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Churchill Downs, located on Central Avenue in south Louisville, Kentucky, United States, is a Thoroughbred racetrack most famous for annually hosting the Kentucky Derby. It officially opened in 1875 and was named for Samuel Churchill, whose family was prominent in Kentucky for many years.

Fairfield County Fair & A Couple Jokes

I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.

I said, "Good legs."

The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost me 6 more stitches, but...

When you’re seventy...............who cares?

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The 169th Fairfield County Fair -- October 6-12, 2019  

LINK OF THE DAY:  https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/meet-the-money-behind-the-climate-denial-movement-180948204/#WFhLxggHoAt7c01p.99

Couch Potato

 There was once a country boy who hated using the outhouse because it was hot in the summer and freezing in the winter...plus it stank all the time. The outhouse was situated on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. So one day after a spring rain the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. He got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.  That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing this meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?" The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."  The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree."

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Adena Mansion & Gardens Visit the 1807 hilltop home of Thomas Worthington, sixth governor of Ohio and one of Ohio's first United States senators.

How Many Wives Can A Man Have???

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her lady boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.

"No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday."

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https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-49915224?SThisFB&fbclid=IwAR2ZbgYlkKMBdHmqrZaEaFEHTa_-G59bIBlW8ppgBjJp7y-yhaXDk7dIfq8

The size of a Womens.....

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!’. A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

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