Grandpa & Granddaughter

Granddaughter is sitting on Grandpa’s lap as he reads the paper not paying any attention to her. So she starts studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve and rubs her fingers over the wrinkles and then over her own face and looks more puzzled.

She finally asks, “Grandpa, did God make you?”

'He sure did honey, a long long time ago”, he replied.

"Well, did God make me?` she asked.

"Yes He did, and that wasn’t too long ago," he answered.

She thought for a minute and then said, “Wow! He’s sure doing a lot better job these days isn’t He?”

Have a great day..

Technorati Tags: MY QUALITY TIME,JOKE

Did God make you????

You might enjoy: Getting Out Of Bed

                             She gave him a sexy little smile

                             Peaches & Peas a Love Story

You Have All The Equipment

Quality Time Story Of The Day

A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up really early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out.

She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out and anchored the boat, and started reading her book.

Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside the woman’s boat and asks her what she’s doing?  She says, “Reading my book.”

The Game Warden tells her she is in a restricted fishing area and she explains that she’s not fishing.

To which he replied, “But you have all this equipment. I will have to take you in and write you up!”

Angry that the warden was being so unreasonable, the lady told the warden, “If you do that, I will charge you with rape.”

The warden, shocked by her statement, replied, “But I didn’t even touch you.”

To which the lady replied, “Yeah, but you have all the equipment!”

Have a great day..

Technorati Tags: EQUIPMENT,JOKE,MY QUALITY TIME

A Little Old Lady Goes To The Doctor

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office.”

The doctor says, “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week.

The next week the lady goes back to his office. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly!”

The doctor says, “Good, Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”

  Have a GREAT DAY………….

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE:::: Passing gas 101: What your flatulence patterns mean for your health

CLICK

Technorati Tags: GAS,FART,JOKE

Funny Monday at My Quality Time…

Dignity & Quality Time

There’s something to be said about Dignity.

DECISIONS BECOME TOUGHER TO MAKE AS YOU GET OLDER...

I have informed my family that

I will not be able to afford an expensive

nursing home. Therefore, I have moved

to South America so that I can spend my

final years enjoying life and dying with Dignity.

Meet Dignity… She is the gal on the left at the front of the line… We met online

To see more of Dignity CLICK

Well I guess I spent to much time in the sun but what a visit... Hope you have a great day….

  Dignity & Quality Time

Technorati Tags: FUNNY MONDAY,BEACH,DIGNITY

“The Awesome Threesome.”

A great day to celebrate “SENIORS” at My Quality Time

The Awesome Threesome: 70+ year old Leisure World residents honor Michael Jackson by preforming a dance in Seal Beach, California.

  Have a great day…….

Technorati Tags: SENIOR CITIZENS

Can You Answer These Questions???

 Haunting questions at My Quality time

says “thanks for stopping by and I hope you have a great day…”

Technorati Tags: HAUNTING QUESTIONS

Political Flogging of a Dead Horse

A QUALITY TIME REPORT

Flog a Dead Horse:::   To waste effort on something when there is no chance of succeeding.

However, Politicians have found more advanced strategies to use.

A few examples::::

1. Buying a stronger whip
2. Appointing a committee to study the horse
3. Changing riders
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures flog dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that the dead horse can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as "living impaired".
7. Hiring outside contractors to flog the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Proving additional funding to increase dead horse's performance.
10. Rewriting the expected performance requirement for all horses.
11. Promoting the dead horse to supervisory position.

The first recorded use of the expression in its modern sense was by the English politician and orator John Bright, referring to the Reform Act of 1867, which called for more democratic representation in Parliament. Trying to rouse Parliament from its apathy on the issue, he said in a speech, would be like trying to flog a dead horse to make it pull a load.

Thanks for stopping by My Quality Time. We hope you were able to LOL

I’ll leave you with one last thought:: Why close the barn door after the horse is gone?

 

Technorati Tags: FLOG A DEAD HORSE

A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.
“I’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. “We don’t serve spirits.

You really need to read this::
Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse READ MORE

Cinco de Mayo…Sinko de Mayo at My Quality Time

 CELEBRATES CINCO DE MAYO………………………………………………………………

Not my photo (came in an email)

Watch the video for history of Cinco de Mayo

Cinco de Mayo—or the fifth of May—commemorates the Mexican army’s 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War (1861-1867). A relatively minor holiday in Mexico, in the United States Cinco de Mayo has evolved into a celebration of Mexican culture and heritage, particularly in areas with large Mexican-American populations. Cinco de Mayo traditions include parades, mariachi music performances and street festivals in cities and towns across Mexico and the United States. READ MORE

“SINKO DE MAYO” THE UNTOLD STORY:::::::::

Each Year On May 5th

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's Mayonnaise was Manufactured in England.  In fact,The Titanic was carrying 10,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico,which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.  This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico ...  But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York.  The ship hit an iceberg and sank.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.  Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5 and is known,of course, as - Sinko De Mayo.

  Have a great day….

 CELEBRATES CINCO DE MAYO………………………………………………………………

Technorati Tags: CINCO DE MAYO,SINKO DE MAYO,FUNNY,QUALITY TIME

Funny Of The Day at My Quality Time….

 THE DOCTOR IS IN…….

That’s all folks…….

Funny Of The Day at My Quality Time….

Technorati Tags: JOKE,MY QUALITY TIME

Funny or Not::::

 JUST FOR FUN OR NOT

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear... to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth...the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate. He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing...!!!

 Have a great day…

Technorati Tags: Beethoven Joke